i wish i had a cat or cats again just so i could participate in CATURDAY.. i miss cats. i had them growing up but my hubby’s not a cat person. he will be once we get into a larger house, at least that’s my plan: get one without asking once our home is big enough for him not to notice. brilliant stuff, right?
yesterday i missed writing because honestly it was one of those ‘newborn baby is gonna do her thing all-day’ days. which means i was just feeding her off/on and doing baby stuff all day. i was in my pj’s the entire day as well, and i survived. i had a quick shower in the wee hours of the morning but i was covered in milk and spitup by 11AM anyway so who cares? my happiest victory yesterday was getting Lulu in the baby bjorn and taking my dog for a walk with her – i have two dogs but muffin decided to rebel and stay indoors with the cooler temps. smart girl.
it’s been a shockingly good morning so far… i read nice comments from Meg and Cora that made me feel warm and fuzzy. Lulu is napping right now, i’ve got coffee, AND i’m showered. plus i had an hour of girlfriend time combined with a workout this morning, thank you darling hubby! since i take care of Lulu 90% of the time, my hubby has agreed to watch her a couple mornings a week before he has to get up for school so that i can go for a walk or run. since i’m up all hours anyhow, this is great for me. this morning my running friend and i had our chatty jog/walk for an hour. it was blissful to be able to do something like that, all before the sun rose. i got home in time to walk the dogs, make coffee, and shower. a-may-zing.
i feel very lucky. even on the days where i literally don’t leave the house or brush my hair, i feel lucky. every morning i see this tiny girl and can’t believe i had her!
i never thought i’d get this chance, honestly. i thought i screwed up so bad in my younger years that my creator would keep my from procreating further. that’s really what i thought. so this is pretty awesome. i guess i didn’t screw up that bad after all 😉
saturday vibes so far are pretty chill. i’m just feeling grateful. sometimes i am overwhelmed with gratitude.
feeling the love again
what else has been on my mind? my relationship with my hubby is much better. at first i was feeling totally overwhelmed with everything, then i somehow changed my thinking and decided to be supportive of all that he does, even if he’s gone a lot of the time. he takes very good care of us, we couldn’t be here without him. now i’ve decided Lulu and i are his team mates and we must support our mate. he’s our quarter back, or lead cyclist. whatever it is, we are his peeps and we love him and need him.
thyroid cancer stuff
i’ve also been thinking a lot about cancer. ok that sounds cryptic but honestly, i’m feeling really good about it. i refuse to accept that they want to just cut out my thyroid. NO WAY. i’ve done enough research and talked to enough friends that have had it removed to know that i won’t be ‘just’ letting them cut out my perfectly healthy thyroid. ok so it has a tumor on it, but otherwise my thyroid and thyroid function is HEALTHY. doctors are quick to cut, and after having major spinal fusion (which saved my life by the way so i don’t hate all surgery!) i am not just about to let them remove a major piece of me. our thyroids are critical to everything. EVERY THING! seriously. so because of this, i’m taking my health into my own hands for a while, while monitoring the size and state of my thyroid.
food is medicine. and delicious.
i know we can change our health not only with our minds, but through food. food, after all, is medicine. as much as i am opposed to dieting, i am totally convinced we can heal our bodies through delicious food. i screwed up my health when i was younger through the foods i was eating, then managed to improve and restore my health by doing the opposite. so i know that food and health are totally related. lately i’ve been doing endless research on cancer and cancer healing diets and feel that there is a common thread: remove junk. they all say cut out sugar, and some say remove carbs since they turn into sugar, others say remove all animal products, but they all say remove processed foods and GMO’s. i’m definitely not leaning towards a vegan diet because i know my body, the reality is that my body does better with some animal protein. it’s just the way i was made. i love animals and tried many times to be a vegan because i can’t personally kill an animal and feel like a hypocrite for eating them, but i also fall apart physically and mentally without animal protein. at the end of the day i need to take care of my family, which means feeling the best i can.
i consider myself a pretty healthy eater but i still consume some processed things. meaning not everything i eat is from scratch. i wish it was, but i’m a new mom and it just ain’t like that for me yet. but it will be. i consume a lot of sugar in my coffee and tea, and even though i’d like to think it’s no big deal, i can’t hide from the cards in my hand any longer. my grandmother died of diabetes and i’ve now got thyroid cancer. i’ve had plenty of sugar in my life and am at the point where if i have to choose being healthy and not get surgery, or eating sugar, i choose to be healthy – healthy meaning not having my thyroid removed and hopefully having the tumor shrink. people have done it! there are people out there who have wiped away their cancers by the foods they eat alone. why can’t i do this???? i’m still eating sugar right now, but i’m putting this out there to the universe because i need to be serious. it’s not going to be easy for me because i don’t like restrictions or deprivation. but i have to think about it differently now for my daughter. it’s not just about me anymore. besides, i love butter and eggs SO much and would much rather have those and give up the sugar. i can live without sweets but living without a nice omelette with lots of nice butter would be very sad for me. or many other foods. a dessert of gourmet cheeses and fruits is so much more luxurious to me anyway! with some nice wine or nice espresso? oh yeah.
OK i’m done with this rant now, there is much more to life than these little things so i will try not to harp on them. however, these little things can add up so it’s a fine line between being healthy and proactive, and being in ignorance and denial. i don’t want to be in denial any longer. i want to be healthy and strong.
happy caturday to all you cat people, i wish i could join your party!!! i’ll have my happy dogurday here…
how do you feel about food and medicine?
do you think you can heal yourself through food or would you take the meds or have the surgery?