Week in Review: My Best Friend’s Wedding

Remember that movie with Julia Roberts? for some reason I’ve seen that movie over 10 times, perhaps more. I’m a sucker for romantic comedies.

movie

I digress – it’s Monday and that means I’m here to rattle away about all the things that happened last week. Which requires me to jog my memory and exercise my brain muscle, and honestly this morning I didn’t want to do zilch. Luckily we took a walk and now I feel better, so here we go.

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Please check out Meg and her awesome sauce blog, and linkup her on her Week in Review.

Last week was incredible and filled with joy, beauty, love, and romance. It even included a gorgeous historic cemetery that was only minutes away from my place and I had no idea! I felt like a tourist in my own city quite a few times last week, and loved every minute.

The main event last week was my Best Friend’s Wedding. I had the privilege of being her matron of honor, and I couldn’t have been more thrilled. There was the rehearsal, then rehearsal dinner, then the next day was the Big Day – wedding day!

Everything was simply perfect: weather, her dress, her hair, the guests, the venues, the food, the flowers, timing, the vows… every single thing. I’m just so happy for her and both their families!

Here are just a few pics from the wedding chapel and the historic park where it took place. I didn’t take photos at the rehearsal dinner or reception, but there were plenty taken. Since I didn’t carry my phone with me practically two whole days, I felt a bit like I was on vacation 😉

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Other fun things from the week:

An amazing walk at a local, historic cemetery: Glenwood Cemetery. The place is simply breathtaking and reminds me of the vast cemetery parks in Europe that you can spend an entire day walking through.I can’t believe it was here this whole time and I had no idea!

cem 2 cem 3 cem city cem1 cemetary Glenwood_Cemetery,_Houston,_Texas_Historical_Marker_(8297696067) glenwood1 glenwood-cemetery-11

Fitness:

I also ran a couple of times on the treadmill and also outside with dogs – by run I mean a slow jog, not fast than 12/13 minutes per mile.

Fashion:

Every night I donned my Hello Kitty pants – since I have a few pairs now I was able to rotate and be comfy.

Arts:

Wednesday I found an Art Studio nearby and signed up for a weekly art class – every Tuesday I’ll be painting with oils and I can’t wait.

Health:

Doctor Doctor. On Tuesday I saw my OBGYN and dermatologist. OB said I’m good but ‘special’ and must a see a high risk doctor, just so she feels like we have all our ducks in a row. On the positive side, she has stopped referring to all my issues as ‘issues’ but instead she calls them ‘factors’ so I have a lot of special FACTORS. I like it. More good news is that the dermatologist said my skin and moles all look normal, so that was a huge relief. My first cancer episode was when I was 7 and my birth mark tested positive for carcinoma, then 3 more moles later over the years. I miraculously deleted all those memories from my brain, but my OBGYN said it was good idea to get EVERYTHING checked. Anyhow, it’s been nice to have a doctor’s checkup go smoothly 🙂

Entertainment:

Friday night, after the rehearsal dinner, I took my dear friend to see the Labyrinth since she had not seen it. She’s 72 years and she loved it! We saw the midnight viewing at our local boutique theatre, and I think it had not been updated since the 60’s. It was a great night.

Goals:

Early Sunday morning I attended the Schwinn Indoor Cycling with Power class and got certified! I was totally whooped, we had 1.5 hours of hard spinning, plus no breaks and we were there from 7:30AM to 5PM. For me it was a long day. Afterward I came home and told the hubby to go out with his buddy without me – 3 days and nights of extreme activity had me feeling like all I wanted was carbs and reality tv. So that’s what I got 🙂

Last but not least, I managed to finally take a selfie while I was walking around the historical park where the wedding took place.

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How as your week?

Do you like cemeteries?

 

 

 

 

 

Sherpa for a Weekend – Recipe for Success

sherpa wufe

Of all the races I’ve done, I’ve never been anyone’s race Sherpa or support crew. I had no idea how helpful this role could be! With my husband’s marathon last weekend, I decided to assume the role as Sherpa Wife, and I took the job very seriously.

*assume the position* naughty naughty *

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All cheekiness aside, I realized that it’s actually a very important job and can really make a difference in the athlete’s day. Plus, living with a happy athlete is MUCH nicer than living with a miserable one, so I guess you could say I selfishly wanted him to be really happy and well taken care of. Happy marathon man, happier wife.

Here is my ‘recipe’ for success to be an outstanding Sherpa Wife (or Sherpa Partner) 

Essentially all you need for this recipe to succeed are:

  • Patience
  • Planning
  • Fanfare
  • Love
  • Kindness

And the following are  some other helpful notes I made and learned along the way:

Pre Race Day 

Timeline, plan, organize: Figure out what all needs to be done before the race – this usually involves packet pick up at the race Expo. Plan your day ahead of time so that your athlete is not rushing around; coordinate the Expo/Packet pickup with other important activities. ie, FOOD and anything your athlete wishes to get done.

Regarding food, make sure your athlete is well fed the day before; go for a good breakfast, then try to have an earlier dinner if possible. Let your athlete choose whatever they want, given that it’s within reason – not shots of tequila and spicy curry, that might hurt him/her later. Save it for after!

Speaking of after, get your athlete his favorite beer and munchies for post race – you’ll be Star for doing so.

Get the race packet and get your athlete organized the night before: have the clothes ready, get all the stuff like chapstick, gloves, hats, glasses, GU’s, earbuds, phone charged, etc.

Race Day

Wake up early and make sure your athlete is awake. Have the car warmed up and ready to go if it’s cold.

Take care of usual household duties, even your partners. This is not a good morning to argue about who’s turn it is to feed dogs or take out garbage. *suck it up and just do it*

Go through the final checklist and make sure you have everything you need.

Logistics

Deliver your athlete to the race ON TIME, and actually much earlier. Keeping your athlete stress free is important.

After the drop off, figure out where you decided that you’d be at for the first stop during the race. We agreed that I’d be at mile 4, this was easy to manage. Go there. Cheer on the runner and cheer for your runner as he/she runs by. Scream loud!!!! Hug him/her if you can, if they don’t look like he/she might kill you.

Use the race tracker app so you know where the runner is at all times, be everywhere ahead of time to account for delays.

Be at the finish line or designated area.

Have some fresh socks for your runner, some clothes, water, snacks, and patience.

Be gentle, make sure your runner walks after the race.

Walk, fuel, shower, rest, fuel some more.

Bring him/her the beer.

Continuously congratulate your athlete throughout the day.

Keep slapping him/her on the back and say, “You are amazing!”

Keep reminding him/her how awesome they are.

Be extra nice for at least 24 hours, and keep up the congratulations for a week.

After 7 days, resume to life as you knew it.

Enjoy your happy athlete and feel good about yourself!

I must note that my husband told me several times how grateful he was and how much better his race was knowing that I was there and supporting him. That made my day, I loved feeling helpful. I’d totally do it again 🙂

Anybody ever been a race sherpa? 

Anyone ever had a race sherpa? 

Who knew it could be such a critical job? 

Week in Review: Spin Spin Sugar

Greetings to all the list lovers and everyone else – I’m linking up with Meghan’s Week in Review linkup, again, and if you want to join the fun then click here. Do it!

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This past week was not bad, not boring, and certainly not crazy. I’d say it was on the ‘good’ side, so that’s reason to celebrate in my book. My form of celebration usually involves either a bubble bath or cup of tea. I’m wild, yeah. Wait – I think some Hello Kitty polish would tickle me silly, I’m very obsessed with my Hello Kitty pajamas so matching polish would be fun.

hello kitty polish

Rather than taking 0 pictures, I took 2 or maybe 3. It’s progress 🙂 Here is a random funny meme from the interwebs that brightened my day:

funny cat pants

Here’s what I managed to get done:

Had two Doctor’s appointments and good news – 

I spent all day on Monday at MD Anderson getting myself registered and then undergoing new tests; Tuesday the hubby came with me and we waited and waited all day, till finally we met the team of specialists that I’d be working with. They talked to us for a long time, explaining the procedure and everything that’s involved. Then they went over the pro’s and con’s of having the surgery now versus waiting till after the baby is born. Ultimately we all decided that waiting till after the baby is born is the safer way to go. I did not realize all the risks to baby the surgery would cause, and the health of the nugget is the most important thing. Do I feel a bit anxious about it? Sure! But I know it’s the best choice for the nugget, so there. In the meantime, I’m being closely monitored and am apparently considered high risk and special. I guess that’s OK… it’s always nice to be special, right? womp womp.

Household chores – the never-ending battle continues

Normally I forget to mention household activities, but laundry seems like it’s a daily task, as well as doing dishes and grocery shopping. I try to do the shopping as efficiently as possible, meaning going to the shops no more than twice a week if possible. However being pregnant has me not wanting anything till I absolutely want it, and then I must have. So therefore I must send the Man to hunt, or I must go gather. It’s quite worth it to have exactly what I want – ie grapes, steak, tofu nuggets, etc. as I want them, but does require some effort.

Food and cravings

Speaking of food, I had a few cravings this week that just seemed all-too stereotypical. I couldn’t help it. On Wednesday I met a dear friend for lunch and was craving dessert rather than food, so I had not one, but three. Thursday I was craving steak for breakfast with potatoes, and lunch was sweet potato fries with pickles, ketchup, and a bowl of ranch dressing. The waitress said to me, “ya know, I’ve never had anyone order that before..” I didn’t mind being the first. Plus a slice of blueberry pie for dessert. I would say those were the ‘oddest’ of cravings, but each day I do my best to eat what I want, otherwise I end up with a headache. I’ve learned the hard way that if I go 3 days without red meat, I will get a migraine that lasts for ages. Somehow the red meat seems to be the migraine antidote, where as chocolate is the opposite, and frozen yogurt made me sick! In fact, I can’t stand anything with mint or chocolate, and crave yogurt but it makes me sick every time. Who am I???

three desserts

Fitness dream coming true: spin spin sugar

I’ve been going through all my life goals lately, and making a list of things I never did but always wanted to do. Taking spin classes has always been a favorite of mine, mainly because I love the loud music and feel like I’m in ‘da club’ without actually being rubbed up on by creepy dudes. Being a spin instructor was one of those things I always wanted to do, ever since I took my first class, but left it undone because I thought a) I’d be no good, b)too shy, c)nerves, d)might mess up the music, and e) seems so complicated. Well, I finally put my big girl panties on and said to heck with my fears, I’m going to sign up and become certified! Damn it! So in a couple of Sundays I’ll be taking a full day and by the evening will have my instructor certification. After that I hope to be able to teach, and then take over the world… of course. I know a lot of bloggers are spin instructors so I’ll be catching up and seeing if I can get any advice.

Office furniture fix and organization

Despite cleaning the kitchen to my standards, and I mean that in the most loving way, my darling husband is exceptionally tidy and organized when it comes to his office space. His office away from home is spotless and so organized that it makes me feel inadequate! I jest, but seriously my hubby rocks the organizational world…(now if only he could rinse dishes properly, but I’ll take him as he is any time.) However our office at home was not exactly to his liking, and drove us a bit crazy. I can happily ignore the piles of receipts in my box and stacks of papers because though I can’t sleep if laundry or dishes are dirty, I can ignore the mess near my desk. Not Mr. Smith, oh no siree. The mess finally got to him and he decided it was due to the lack of file cabinets in our office; it has disabled his productivity. We seized the day and finally went to procure file cabinets. The happy man spent all day Saturday organizing his office space, humming happy tunes the whole time. Now I feel like the one who is behind! I have a lot of filing to do… oops.

On the fun side, I saw these while were out getting file cabinets… too cute. He’s grouchy and forgetful, and I’m rebellious and loopy. Fitting.

candy bar feelings

Date night

We had a few nice meals out this past week. On Wednesday we met a good friend and my mother at Local Foods, Thursday was a yummy Mexican restaurant to celebrate the good news from the doctor, and then on Friday we went out to a fancy Italian place and rented The Martian. The movie was seriously the best I’ve seen in a while, it lived up to all the  hype. Five stars! Saturday morning we had a yummy breakfast at a local Jewish deli because baby nugget needed her some Matzo ball soup… and a cinnamon roll. We were all very happy with our food choices.

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Light reading

Finally finished up one of my Christmas books, Fly Away Home. It was actually really good, even though I didn’t think I could get into it at first. It ended up luring me in and kept me interested the whole time. I loved it. Now I’m ready Crazy Rich Asians and LOVE it!

crazy rich asians

fly away home

Apartment hunting

Since we decided that we will stay renters, I went out on Wednesday to view some apartments in our area. That was a good thing because I saw two places I thought I’d like that I totally didn’t, and one place I never considered that I fell in love with. Our lease is not up until end of April, so we have lots of time still. I just like to see what is out there.

Marathon Sherpa Weekend

Sunday was the Chevron Houston Marathon and Half Marathon, and my darling husband ran in the full marathon! I got to be the Sherpa wife and took the dogs, and we all dropped him off at the start, then cheered him along the way. Being able to cheer for all the runners was fun, and seeing all my friends running was very invigorating. I also got to run the last 4 miles with my hubby as I had my bib and was legally allowed on the course. We figured why not? I paid for the bib. So we crossed the finish line together and I felt so good knowing that I was helping him. When he saw me at mile 22 he was hitting a wall, so we took a lot of walk breaks and I got to dote on him for once, it actually felt good 😉 Plus it’s nice to know that our baby was in a marathon. Haha! I did secretly wish I could wear a shirt that read, “I’m pregnant and not allowed to run per my doctor’s orders but otherwise I’d be going faster… ” 

marathon post

Bunny Ears & Best friend belated birthday dinner

Post marathon and half marathon, I had very busy Sunday. I attended a charity event at a drag queen club, which was beyond interesting. It was called “Bunnies on the Bayou.” There were pink bunny ears at the entrance, men wearing bunny tails, and really good music. At 5PM the place was packed!(Now I know where to go to hang out with gorgeous queens and hear good spin class music.) Sadly I could only stay for 30 min because I had made reservations for my best friend and  bride-to-be out for a nice French dinner; we were to celebrate her half marathon and belated birthday, and upcoming nuptials! Afterwards we decided to watch our favorite all-time movie, “Love Actually” in honor of the dear Alan Richman. Oh why does cancer take away all of these lovely souls? I’ll never know.

pink bunny

 

Have you taught spin or fitness classes? Any tips?

Is your office area organized? any tips???? I hate filing 

If you have been preggo or are preggo, had/having any food cravings? 

A New Leaf

Hey there friends!

I just wanted to share that I’m starting a new chapter of this blog, and turning a new web leaf. In the coming days and weeks I’ll be adding new pages as they come to me.

The main reason for the change is that I no longer have the desire or passion to write about recovery/addiction/scoliosis, it’s just not in my heart. I’m happy to answer anything if you have questions, but my main message is this: it doesn’t matter how bad it is or long it’s been, anyone can change. For the better or worse, it’s up to you. We all have the power to change.

The goal of my blog is to be uplifting, and of course real. Quirky? Clearly. Artistic? Maybe. Stylish? Probably not. Depressing? Gosh I hope not! I’m not struggling with the things I once was and don’t feel the need to live in the past. I don’t want a blog to be about all the stuff I’ve overcome. Rather I want this to be about what I’m doing and where I’m going. If I’m having a moment of nostalgia, then so be it. However, The Past and I have decided to officially break it off. End of Story. bah-bye. deuces.

I considered starting a whole new blog, but here’s the thing. I still LOVE Sriracha, and I love to sweat. Fitness and movement have always been my drug of choice, weather it is walking around the park, running, spinning on the spin bike, lifting stuff, or taking a scenic hike. Moving my body makes me happy, and so does eating spicy food. I love spice and I love to sweat. So therefore I sweat Sriracha is sticking around and I’m proud.

What I’ll be blogging about in the future will most likely include this:

  • Pregnancy (over 35)
  • Current goals & life
  • Fitness & Becoming a Spin Instructor
  • Travels & Adventures
  • Hobbies & Food

So there you have it: new year, new outlook on life. I’m embracing change, and since I have the power to edit this blog I’m doing so and saying goodbye to anything that holds me back. I respect what I’ve gone through, in all areas of life, but I’m choosing not to live in the past. Who I am now of course would not be possible with all the bits and pieces, but that’s what questions and emails are for. I respect who I am but more importantly, I respect and love where I’m headed. I have a daughter coming into this world and gosh darnit, that alone makes me feel too happy and sensitive to any of the crap that I may write.

Onward and upwards!

a look at the first year

Marriage... a year has gone by and I can’t believe it’s only been 1 year! and I mean that in the best of ways.

Quick story from the weekend: Saturday night the hubby and I were out late hanging out with his classmates after he got out of class at 7PM. As the current Designated Driver, I encouraged him to have a good time, relax. Live a little! for the both of us. Or three of us. We got home around midnight and we practically fell into bed. At around 3AM, I woke up and noticed our little dog, Muffin, was out of the bed. I found her outside of our bedroom door whimpering, then discovered that she had gotten sick in two spots, and peed in two spots. Poor thing! Totally frantic out of my mind, I woke up my husband and without even hesitating he jumped out of bed and went to clean up everything like a machine man. During the process, Muffin got sick again outside on the living room floor, he cleaned that up, too. We decided to take the dogs outside in pajamas and let them do their business, just in case. By 4AM the floors were clean, the comforter was being washed (as she got some icky stuff on it, so the hubby took care of that,) and the dogs were happy again. 

As I got back into bed, I realized that I am really lucky. This guy is gonna be a great dad 🙂 

Yesterday during our Week in Review linkup, I mentioned that the hubby and I celebrated our first year of marriage/wedding anniversary on Sunday.

It made me realize what an incredible year it’s been, so I just wanted to note the highlights. Jotting them down helps me to not only remember, but also makes me feel so grateful. What a year it’s been!

January 2015:

  • Got hitched!
  • Ran the marathon
  • Took off to Santiago, Chile

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February 2015:

  • celebrated Chinese New Year
  • celebrated my birthday

March 2015:

  • Decided to put our house on market
  • Had a HUGE garage sale – this involved a weekend of getting stuff ready, the garage sale weekend
  • Spent days and night renovating the kitchen, bathrooms, and totally getting the house “For Sale” ready

April 2015:

  • Put the house on the market – sold the house
  • Found an apartment in the city – downsized from 4 bedroom house with yard and pool to a 2.5 bedroom apartment in the city. LOVED IT
  • Spent 2 weeks walking around our new neighborhood and drinking every night – this may have lasted till September…

May 2015: 

  • We started training for the marathon together
  • Took a trip to Washington DC to see my cousin and party like kids

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June 2015:

  • Hubby decided to go back to grad school and started the application process

July 2015:

  • Went to San Antonio for 4th of July to see my brother and family
  • Hubby was accepted into Rice for the Executive MBA Program

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August 2015:

  • Attended Hubby’s grad school reception and met his future classmates
  • (Coincidentally) bought a family-mobile, aka, SUV 😉

September 2015:

  • Did a 5K together and had a blast
  • Hubby began school, Wifey became part-time single doggy mom

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October 2015:

  • Conceived a kid! it was French food and wine… all the way. #noshame #frenchfoodmakesbabies
  • Discovered we were pregnant
  • Attended my brother’s wedding in AZ, newly preggo and trying to act normal

fnb hubby silly the plane

November 2015:

  • Told the close family members the news
  • Ran the Turkey Trot 10K together
  • Celebrated Thanksgiving together in NOLA

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December 2015:

  • Spent 2 whole weeks together: house hunting, relaxing, and taking long walks
  • Realized we don’t want to buy a house, we will continue to rent
  • Celebrated multiple holiday gatherings
  • Brought in the New Year

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What was your first year of marriage like? 

What was the craziest year you’ve had? 

 

 

 

Week in Review: 1st Year of Marriage

Happy Monday!

Greetings everyone, we made it through another week in 2016. I’d consider that a success.

I know sometimes it seems like you don’t have much going on, or on the flip side it feels like you can’t keep up. That’s what I love about Meghan and her Week in Review linkup, it lets you list it all out listy-list style and see how awesome you are. Everything counts! or not. Up to you. I like to think I did nothing but take baths all week… in my mind at least. Join her and the list part here. 

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First on a bit of a sad note… I read this morning that David Bowie passed away from cancer at age 69. No! That is so utterly sad. His birthday was just two days ago.. bless him and his loved ones. He was my Goblin King forever, and I’ll always have a place for him in my heart. I will be sharing the movie Labyrinth with my daughter and my love of David Bowie when she’s the appropriate age. RIP David Bowie

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So this past week:

I still took barely any photos. I’m slowly re-joining social media ‘society’ again, meaning peeps at Facebook here and there. progress. I still get irritated at the crap I see, but I’m trying not to notice the crap.

Doctor’s appointments – saw my OB for an ultrasound, baby Smith is doing great. She’s fist pumping and dancing away in there. in my uterus… #weirdthoughts

Also saw my chiropractor to help with my lower back and hip pain. Pain gone!

Symptoms – a few migraines, one of them was a doozy. I didn’t know a migraine could make you wretch, and hoping I don’t experience that again… positive thoughts.

I did lots of walking, less gym time and more outdoor time.

We had several dinners and a farewell lunch with my brother before he departs today for Aberdeen, Scotland. He is very Vegan right now, and therefore we did our best to find all the best Vegan restaurants we could. I really admire him for his beliefs and standing up for a cause. I still had some ranch dressing moments and eggs… He leaves this afternoon while I’m at MD Anderson getting my testing. I miss him already!

The hubby and I had a couple random date nights

Netflix: we watched the entire series, Making a Murderer, and got very pissed off with the legal system. Grrrrrrrrr!

making a murd

Saw a Friday afternoon movie with my bro: spector. Very good, typical Bond movie. The Ipic theatre however is my new happy place… I love Ipic!

Sunday was our 1st year wedding anniversary!

We celebrated our anniversary day with a walk with the pups around the park. They liked our special day, too.

I got surprised by anniversary earrings, bling bling!

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I baked! and made blondies for my honey  – I underbaked them a wee bit and they turned out so gooey and yummy. He was very pleased. As was I.

blonde brownie

blondies

We had our anniversary dinner at the restaurant where he took me on our first date, Backstreet Cafe. Sadly I got a bit sick after, but I swear it was not the food! It was overall a magical, love-filled day.

anni dinner

After dinner we watched the new episode of Good Wife and I took myself to bed. The end.

And now I’m getting ready to go to the hospital now for a day of testing, yeehaw.

Happpppy Monday, ya’ll!

Have you seen Making a Murderer? 

Have you had Blondies? 

 

 

 

 

Things I’m loving about pregnancy

Things I’m loving about being pregnant… boy I’ve lost my mind, right? Who says they love being pregnant?

With a history of body image issues, disordered eating, and addictions, pregnancy was not something I thought would be emotionally or physically easy for me. Secretly, I was terrified at the thought of pregnancy and motherhood for 35 years! That’s a long time. But I also didn’t think I wanted to get married till I was at least 75 and liked being single, and didn’t even care about a wedding for 35 years….. oops.

Isn’t it remarkable how meeting one person can change you forever? I didn’t even think I wanted to change! It’s not like I was unhappy or looking, but when I met my husband back in April of 2014 I knew inside that I could spend my life with one person. It was weird, but I knew it. I also knew that having a family with him would be an actual honor, rather than physical and emotional torture, or self mutilation.

Boy how times have changed!

This whole pregnancy thing has been really mind blowing. First of all, I never thought I’d be a good motherly type or could get all gooey over little things. HA bloody HA! Somehow I’ve become this sensitive person who talks sweetly to my belly during the day, and plays music and has conversations with my dogs and my belly as we walk at the park.

I even notice that I’m less likely to maintain an argument with my husband because I don’t want to get upset, and the value of feeling better outweighs the former priority of winning each argument. Now that is a miracle! I’ve never been one to back down, but this pregnancy thing is making me realize that backing down is sometimes quite smart and appropriate. I think my husband is happier than ever.

So I just gotta share that despite all the nausea and breast tenderness and constipation, I sort of love growing this little baby in my belly. I haven’t been good at growing things before, and have managed to kill a bamboo plant = twice! Brown thumbs over here, all the way.

I feel like this whole baby growing thing is actually something I’m enjoying. I can’t believe I’m typing that, but it’s true. Despite all the not-so-fun symptoms, I love how I’m feeling. I suppose because I know that no matter what crappy feeling I’m having, it’s for a good cause. The following are some other perks that I’ve notice during these 15 weeks.

Body image perks: 

Being pregnant has almost been this magic pill for me and my body image. I can’t imagine not liking myself or abusing my body because it’s doing such a great job right now! I can’t imagine worrying about calories or fat, or feeling like I’m fearful of food. Food simply is there for nourishment and enjoyment, and I just follow my cravings. I know that sounds all “whoo-whoo” but it hasn’t been that hard.

Essentially, pregnancy has helped me feel more love than ever before towards my body; my disordered eating thoughts are in the past.

I can’t imagine feeling bad about my body now

I want my baby girl to know me as a mom that loves her body

I want her to love her body

I want her to feel good about food

Truly, I hope these feelings last and feel strongly that will stay. Feeling love and compassion towards myself has helped me realize that life is SO much better when I love myself and stop giving myself a hard time about silly stuff. Most of all, I want to be a good role model and show her unconditional love – for her and for myself, and her daddy.

Physical  and mental perks: 

I feel clear – being off the booze has really made me realize what a fog I was living in. I love this clarity of mind that I’ve been experiencing since pretty much the 3rd week. It took a couple of weeks to get the alcohol and caffeine and crap out of my system, but then it all cleared up.

Most of the time, I feel calmer. Like I can handle things that come my way.

At the same time, if something is important I feel like i would move mountains if i had to. I also feel fierce and protective towards my dogs, more than before. And powerful and protective of helpless people. Like if I’m out walking and someone needs help to cross the street, I could halt cars with my hands and help them. Hmmmm. not trying that though.

I feel emotional and sensitive in a good way: there were years where I felt numb and cut off from the world, and being emotional right now feels good.

I care LESS about crap and people that don’t really matter; before I used to check in on FB all the time to see how friends are doing, but now I know that my loved ones know what’s up and I know what’s up with them. I don’t want to rely on FB to know how someone is doing. That’s a whole other topic though and gripe…

I feel productive = I’ve been able to get a lot more done during the day than ever before. And no diet or energy pills needed. Yay!

So even though pregnancy is not all sunshine and rainbows, and there are a lot times where I feel very ‘pregnant’ – overall it’s been such a blessing. Clearly the gift for me in the end is just so worth whatever ups or downs.

Looks like my surgery will be in the next couple of weeks, which is great news. Now let’s get through the next couple of months, shall we?

 

A Bump & A Lump Part 2 of 2

what goes up, must come down.

there are always worse things in life.

it could be worse.

think of the good things.

why me?

no way…

i don’t need this right now.

just kill me now and save me the pain of more misery.

i can’t do this anymore.

i hate surgery.

not this.

impossible.

dear god, help.

these are the thoughts that ran through my head when the doctor called me on friday night, a week before christmas, to tell me that the lump in my thyroid tested positive for cancer.

cancer? but nobody in my family has cancer! no way… i can’t have cancer. i’m pregnant!

it’s hard to make sense when things just don’t seem real.

anyhow, that phone call changed our lives but i can honestly say: everything is going to be OK.

first off, thyroid cancer is the ‘best’ cancer to have. that’s what all the doctors have said and i have discovered that i know people that have had it and are doing great.

second off, the surgery will be safe and should be totally OK for the baby.

third off, thyroid medicine is commonly taken and even my mother takes it. if i have to take thyroid medication forever to stay alive and healthy, then so be it.

fourth off, the recovery rates are super high.

fifth – i live in a city with an excellent medical center and cancer treatment center. MD Anderson.

so that’s the news about the lump. this whole time as i was going through ultrasounds of my thyroid and the biopsy, never in a million years did i think it was cancer.

but that’s ok, i’m wrong sometimes.

i’m not cursed, i’m blessed. my baby girl is healthy and we’re going to be fine.

surgery to remove my thyroid will be happening in the next couple of weeks.

after we got the news, i pretty much went into a deep dark hole of pity, sadness, and wanted to withdraw. i left social media and honestly haven’t really been back. i stopped reading most blogs and just sort of got off the internet. i decided i needed some true “husband and me” time. we spent 2 weeks together during the holidays – the most time we’ve ever had together since our honeymoon last year. he took that time off work, and we just enjoyed doing things and being together along with family and close friends.

i had a hard time seeing friends that i wasn’t super close to, and i haven’t been able to tell most people that we’re having a baby. i have a hard time not telling the truth, so to say i’m pregnant without mentioning my surgery is not in my comfort zone. i realized that for the first time, the things that matter the most to me are not what i thought.

anyhow, i’m rambling but my point is that i know we’re going to get through this. even though i’m not comfortable sharing this news with some of my friends, i’m ok with blogging about it. i also realized some people that i thought were friends are just acquaintances. that’s totally ok with me, just good information. i’m not looking for sympathy, but just appreciate the real people in my life. and i appreciate those of you who i haven’t met in person, but i feel close to regardless through your blogs.

i know that 2016 is going to be an awesome year for our little family. i’d like to keep updating on the pregnancy and other randomness. in the meantime, let’s stay positive and be thankful for what we do have!

A Bump & A Lump Part 1 of 2

greetings ya’ll.

it’s been a minute since i posted anything ‘real’ – but i think i’m ready to share.

first, the big news and good news: i’m sitting here at exactly 15 weeks pregnant and it’s a baby girl. it’s not easy to keep that sort of secret since i’ve known for so long, but of course i didn’t want to share till we got past the first trimester.

how do you mom’s keep that stuff secret, especially the bloggers? i’m not good at those kinds of secrets, at least it felt very challenging to me.

oddly enough, i haven’t told ‘the general public’ and facebook, but i wanted to share it on my blog. does that make any sense? i’ve found that i’m feeling more private in some ways, and yet also more like writing some thoughts. i feel like a schitzo.

so the baby. we are totally stoked – we had been trying last year, but then took a break when my husband went to grad school last september. with him working full-time and doing school full-time, we figured we could just wait till after he graduated or closer to that time before we started trying again. *and by the way, trying to get pregnant is not easy. it’s very exhausting and can be emotionally debilitating. we tried for several months, and i know people try for years. we are both very goal oriented people and like instant gratification, so not getting pregnant right away was hard on both of us. props to all the moms and mom-to-be’s that are going through this. it’s freaking tough but obviously worth it. if we didn’t get pregnant, i had finally decided to accept it and embrace what we do have…*

but of course, mother nature had other plans.

i secretly love and hate that my doctor was right: she said that if we stopped trying so hard, we’d get pregnant. i gafawed at her and totally rolled my eyes, and just shrugged and thought there was something wrong with me.

well, it turns out there IS something wrong with me! haha. but i was still able to get pregnant. at times i wonder if this was a curse or a blessing. just being honest, but of course i know it’s a blessing. i couldn’t be happier.. but certainly wish some things were different.

caution: my humor sometimes get dark and sick during the tough times, so just please take it into consideration. i come from a long line of sick and twisted humor.

 

jan 7
first selfie of 2016: red/auburn is the color du jour. since 12/30, i’ve had my hair 3 colors. forget what they say about being preggo and not changing your hair. i’m a rule breaker! at least i’m using good products

pregnancy symptoms? you betcha. i felt like a living textbook at first. my first month was all hot sweats, fatigue, soreness everywhere, hormones all over the place, and nausea. the nausea just got worse the next couple of months, and the sucky part was that even though i didn’t feel the need to restrict myself at all, i physically couldn’t eat that much without getting sick. i felt like the gods were laughing at me – since i thought i’d be able to be just eat, lounge, and be glow-y of course… haha. basically my first trimester felt like all my energy had been zapped. of course it was for a damn good reason, but still. i was exhausted.

my 4th month started off great, however. my energy returned by week 13 and the nausea went away. no extreme hunger, but certainly i’ve been following my cravings.

i’ve really been enjoying walking lately and found that it helps my back. when i’ve tried running, i’ve ended up at the chiropractor due to pinching a nerve in my sciatica. ouch! i’m especially injury prone in my current state, which doesn’t help because i was injury prone before 😉

needless to say, our lives have changed in major ways lately.

in my next post, i’ll fill you in on what’s up with the lump.. the not so good news. but like my doctor said, “everything is going to be OK!”

peace out

Week in Review: 2016 Resolutions & Revelations

Happy 2016! 

Week-In-Review-Button-Final

I have a lot to catch you up on, especially with my last post and all… but that will come later. Promise.

This post is all about linking up to my favorite linkup: Meg’s Week in Review. I’m a list lover and can’t resist the urge to jot down crap with bullet points. I wish I could speak in bullet points, but that’s another issue.

Quick confession:

i have not taken any photos since december 20th. and i’ve pretty much been off social media except that day when i shared a Bag of Dicks with Meghan on IG. inside joke… ahem.

i’m keeping today’s post short and probably not sweet. so with all that nonsense in mind, here is my list of resolutions for 2016:

wash the dog’s plates immediately after they eat, or near after – rather than let them get crusty and need a long soak, or putting new food on old plates.

rinse my own bowl after i eat  – rather than leave it there because i know i’ll be eating again and will use it again. as husband pointed out – ewh gross.

figure out what direction i want my blog to go.

don’t be afraid to succeed and kick ass at my career.

don’t be afraid, period.

continue doing the “Personal Power” journaling and daily assignments.

exercise because you LOVE it, but seriously stop the running – you keep injuring yourself! wait till after June and then wait some more.

stop doing dumb shit!

reach out.

overshare.

stop using old-ass makeup, gross.

utilize Amazon for makeup and beauty crap.

keep up with my hair and nails (major goal!)

learn to knit, or something crafty with my hands that can be also done with eyes semi-closed. important.

obsess less over dogs… trust that they know i love them and won’t feel abandoned.

rub my belly daily. 36 times.

and just for shits and giggles, here are some revelations that i’ve had recently to carry me forward into 2016:

it’s okay to take a break from social media.

there is SO much to do with my spare time!

just because i didn’t take a picture doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

there are lots of people that don’t get on social media and are actually happy and successful, know that.

no matter what life throws at me, everything is going to be OK!

i don’t care much about bullshit problems.

but i still like to watch some horrible realty TV.

not all friendships last forever and that is OK.

some people are just temporary.

some people are in it for the long haul.

there are surprises each day.

i learn something new each day.

baby steps are totally fine.

it’s okay to be a giver, but it’s also good to learn how to receive.

 

I’m very blessed, and hope everyone has had an awesome 2016 so far.

Cheers to the next 300+ days!

resolutions?

revelations?