this may seem like a very trivial topic, but to me life should be FUN.
or at least have an element of fun within the daily activities.
what is fun? I know it means so many things to so many people. off the top of my head here’s what’s fun to me: I was walking the dogs around the park and watching them play around like maniacs and thought to myself, this is fun! the other night I was taking a cooking class with friends and had tons of FUN. another night my hubby and I went to eat tacos at a new dive and for me, it was fun to try all these new flavors of tacos and just relax. other fun times: walking over to the coffee bar and having my cappuccino while I read is fun; experimenting with the run/walk/run method by Jeff Galloway has been fun; taking random pics while i’m out and about is FUN. life is just so much fu@$ing… FUN.
so, is your life FUN? do you know how to have fun?
do you laugh freely and have times when you throw your head back and proclaim, “i’m having FUN!!! wheeeee!”
do you punch air from time to time? do you wake up and go “fu@! yeah!”
i’m on a kick, i’m bringing the fun. I feel that life needs to have more fun in it. yes, FUN! I want to have some sort of fun every single damn day. why not???
would you like some FUN with your meal? you can supersize that sandwich and add a heap of FUN for 50 cents…
I can be a home-body and curmudgeon at times, but somehow i abandoned my crabby ways this year and it’s been like a social butterfly circus around here lately.
I have certainly been embracing FUN… not only did I embrace the FUN, I gave it a big squeeze and a hug, and I think we hip-bumped. of course this was subconsciously my new year’s resolution, so far i’m doing a great job, subconsciously speaking. winning.
this year has been a big year for us: we got married, sold a house, moved into a cool city apartment, traveled, left jobs, started new careers, enrolled into grad school, started this blog… a LOT has happened this year and it’s only summer! despite all the crazy life events, I made it a point to find a way to have fun no matter what. if life is not fun, then that just pretty much sucks. it doesn’t mean it has to be moonbeams and glitter 24/7, but there has to be something fun every single day. YES every day! it’s not that hard. I find ways to have fun EVERY day. some days are more challenging and require mind trickery, but here are some ideas for adding the FUN back into your everyday life:
get up and write down 3 things that are awesome – you are starting your day off on the positive side already!
smile at strangers
go for a walk around a nice park or area of town
be a tourist for an hour by visiting one place you’ve always wanted to see but haven’t yet…
block out a few hours one Saturday morning and treat yourself
laugh out loud
jump on a trampoline
take a cooking class with friends!
okay now in the spirit of FUN here are a bunch of pics of my weekend of FUN. enjoy and have some fu@!ing fun!!!
all the amazing thai dishes we made as a group… wow so much fun! and the byob was a nice, fun touch
what fun life is, every singe day can be fun! even the tough ones…
runny story? I meant running but I like to rhyme when I have the time, cuz it’s sublime. That was Gross, I’m sorry.
Anyhow, so yes, I LOVE to sweat. And I also LOVE to run EVEN THOUGH I’m not that good at it and it jacks with me sometimes. Ok lots of times but whatever!
So I have a runny running story…
Running really does have a special place in my heart, a wee little corner of my heart is exclusively for running. So preciousssss. With the lotion…. And I’m a weirdo. Yeah.
I remember the first time I consciously ‘ran’ was in the 1st grade playing t-ball. I sprinted to a base or some ‘thing’ in the dirt and it was so much fun to just go-go-go!!!! Vroooooom, I loved it, I felt speedy like a cartoon on TV.
Then in 2nd grade we had a track to run around, and I raced this little kid and actually beat him, (then never did that again but that one time was exhilarating… ) I loved the feeling of being free. *side note, I used to run around at school wearing Mary Jane shoes and loafers – how on earth did my feet not suffer? I wish I could have that gift of being oblivious to pain in my present life.* I loved running during recess but never engaged in it seriously, and then I was diagnosed with scoliosis at age 10 so running was not exactly in my mind. But later on during the teenage years of angst&energy, I needed to do something that got me out of the crazy house and away from the parental units. I remember being 14 and getting up before school to go walk so I could clear my head; eventually I started to jog and before I knew it, I was jogging for 45 minutes straight! Now later on I discovered that it took me 45 minutes to cover 3.2 miles, but still. For me, that was pretty awesome. I got into tae kwon do when I was 12 and then started kung fu when I was 16, which had us run a little bit for warm-ups. I was loving the running again! and since I was dating a guy who ran track, I got rather interested in running more than just a 13 minute mile for a change. He ran with me all summer and I ended up doing my first 5K that fall in 27 minutes. Amazing! I used EVERYTHING I had in my body and it felt awesome!!!! I never even knew there were distances beyond a 5K, I thought I had just run the entire marathon for real. Like really, I thought a marathon was a 5K and vice versa. Ummmm yeah, so I’m not exactly good with details sometimes. Eep.
After that 5K I tabled the running thing for a while so I could losemymind and drinkunderage; I started running again when I found my brain and got sick of being hung over. When I was told I would need the back surgery, I was 20 years old. I figured I would probably never run again; the surgeon said I could if I wanted to but just to be very careful, and obviously not to try running till I was completely healed. It honestly wasn’t even on my radar!
Eventually after 4 years of just walking and riding a recumbent bike EVERY single day for physical therapy, I asked at one of my checkups if I could run again. The doc said, sure why not? Just be CAREFUL and gentle and stop if anything hurts, but honestly I could run, bike, or swim if I wanted to anytime. Just no full-contact sports, so bye-bye to my football career! They always told me to swim if I could because it’s the best thing for backs, but I just couldn’t get the same feeling in the water that I did from running. I loved the water of course, but after my surgery I stayed out of the water for several years because I was a)embarrassed about my giant scar all the way down my back, and b) not into it at all, mostly because of ‘a’
Anyhow, one day during another walk I decided to just try a little jog. Oh boy it was weird and it sort of hurt! But it felt great to actually have some pep in my step again… gee I missed that feeling. Just to jog a little bit was awesome, and it motivated me to eat more food since under-eating was another side issue all the time. So since the jogging didn’t kill me, I decided to try a short jog just once a week and I loved it. I did NOT have the right shoes of course but quickly learned that after losing some toenails.
So the next couple of years I jogged a bit here and there, and then all of the sudden in 2005, I found myself spinning and then someone told me about a sprint triathlon. What??? I must have grown a giant set of balls during that time because before I knew it, I signed up for a sprint triathlon, after never really running more than 30 slow minutes since my back surgery. But I took it serious and trained in all 3 sports: swim, bike, run. And I managed to not only finish the sprint, but I had a total BLAST!!! And realized not only could I run, but I loved it again! the swimming and biking were not as lovable or natural to me, but the running felt the most freeing and I just loved that I could do it anywhere.
KICK FEAR IN THE FACE
That little sprint triathlon made me realize that I could actually do things that I NEVER thought I could do after my surgery, and that was the best feeling I ever felt in my life. Before that time, I was scared of swimming, totally terrified of riding a bicycle outdoors, and had given up on ever really running. It’s so amazing what happened to me when I got outside of my self-made box and stepped out of my comfort zone.
Since then I’ve run a couple of 10K’s, several ½ marathons, 2 full marathons, and done several triathlons including 3 half ironman’s, and 2 full ironman’s. Before that little sprint triathlon in the fall of 2005 I would NEVER have guessed I could ride a bike more than 5 miles, or run more than a mile, and definitely not swim more than 10 laps. Low and behold, somehow some way I managed to beat my own limits to the dirt and proved to myself that I really am stubborn as shit heck… and that’s okay because when I put my mind to something, I can really get some shit stuff done.
I know many peeps and awesome kats have done some amazing things and beat some badass odds.
what are some things you have done that you never thought you would?i seriously never thought i would ride a bike, especially not more than 10 miles.. eep!
do you love running?i can’t run every day but i really do love the feeling when i do
is there an activity or workout that just makes your heart sing and is your ‘special place’ like with the lotion?or not the lotion…
this last week i was home alone – after our awesome trip to D.C. my husband flew to Eerie, Pennsylvania for work, and i flew home to our dogs 🙂
so what did i do all week while the mister was away and i had the doggies all to myself?
Monday: i arrived home from D.C. late afternoon and went to pick up our sweet babies, aka the dogs… they were so happy to see me! by the time i got home i had enough time to bathe them, do laundry, de-funk myself, clean the house, and relax before bedtime.
i still missed Vega, my cousin’s pitbull .. she was the sweetest thing
tuesday: i overslept, went for a jog/run/walk, ate a late breakfast, and went to the office for some meetings. then in the evening i went to the bar at whole foods and met up with my neighbors, who then invited me over to bring my dogs and have a doggy/kitty play date of sorts. it was hysterical! they also cooked me a gorgeous dinner of marinara, bolognese, pasta, and many cheeses and great wines. i was a very spoiled girl! and the dogs and cats actually had a ball 🙂
wednesday: overslept again, another long walk then jog/run, then more work stuff. in the evening i met for dinner with my mom and brother at CPK. yummy! then we came back to my place and re-watched the season finale of Game of Thrones…. oh my goodness don’t get me started!!! that was totally whack, so may cliff hangers. help me please!
thursday: fabulous day of fabulous things! i had a nice run, then went to my agency for coaching and mentoring. then i attended an incredible fashion show at the art museum. before the show we met for cocktails at my favorite hotel bar in a gorgeous part of town. Meghan if you visit, we’re going! after our cocktail we walked over and enjoyed the art and fashion all night. afterwards we returned to the fabulous bar and had one more fabulous cocktail 🙂 then home sweet home and doggy heaven. zzzzzz
friday: happy as my hubby was due home, so extra happiness today of course. i woke up and meditated then attended an interview, had a great meeting, then went for a lunchtime run. it was awesome! then i went to see my chiropractor and got my bones cracked… it was perfection. then in the evening i picked up my friend, who was my special guest for this soft opening of a new taco place in town, Velvet Taco. back story: i got a special invite from a local food reporter, Cleverley Stone, and i was allowed to bring a guest as long as i would agree to be interviewed afterwards – clearly i said YES. we arrived and enjoyed our tacos, and then i gave my little report. we went back to her gorgeous apartment overlooking a park and had wine while we waited for my hubby to arrive, and he did a minute later, and then we all hung out and sipped wine and talked about smart things like world news and such. then my hubby and i drove home and it was back to our happy usual friday date night as usual.
as you can see, my week alone was not so bad. of course i missed my hubby but i kept myself quite entertained.
how was your week last week? how is life when you’re home alone?
This morning was our last day in DC, not that it’s important but I’ll set the scene:
Alarm went off at 7:30am this morning. I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and packed my bags. My husband then showered and cleaned up our room; finally we went down to hang with my cousin and his beautiful pit bull, Vega, before our departure. A few minutes later we were dropped at the airport after some farewell hugs.
We checked in and went to find some breakfast; I sat there and ate as slowly as I could to pass the time before the flight as I am not a fan of standing around. After breakfast, my husband boarded his plane for Eerie and I went over to find snacks and a mocha. I took my time and planned it out perfectly – by the time I was done with my final purchase, it was time for me to board my flight to Houston.
And that’s where I am right now –
I’m sitting on my plane as type this, sipping my bottled water, trying to get the stale taste out of my mouth that comes from a weekend of partying like I’m 15 years younger, and consuming too much of everything and not enough vegetables or antioxidants. As I’m basking in the afterglow of an extraordinarily festive weekend, I’m realizing a few things. These are very deep thoughts considering that I just had an amazing party weekend but that’s probably because I’m recovering from extreme party mode and my dopa-mine levels are messed up. Whatever, here’s what’s on my mind *deep thoughts, take that with a grain of salt. I mean how deep can I get on a plane? Life is good*
Inside my brain there is an ocean of thoughts floating around, here are some in no particular order:
I really like my routines but it feels nice to leave them at home sometimes. A day or two max
Abandoning my life at home feels strange after two days
I struggle and flail without an itinerary
I love hotels
My husband is truly my soul mate
I actually can be easy going when I want to be
Seeing the nation’s monuments was quite extraordinary
DC has an incredible food scene
I sometimes have to work hard to have fun, it can be an out of body experience at times
I feel a little weird when I don’t have a schedule or a routine
It was nice to take a break but I missed running
I love meeting new people
I really did want to be a DJ in another life
I love meeting artists and people in the entertainment industry
I love my life at home
I love taking a break
I love embracing a new environment
I love having a schedule to return to
I think I need a vacation from my vacation… ?
I guess the running themes are that i have mixed feelings about being separated from my schedule or a schedule. This is true, I love having fun but at home I know the parameters so that’s a bit different. Staying at my cousin’s for three days and just going with the flow was a strange out of body experience of sorts. I had a total blast, but also felt very strange living a different life. Basically we had no plans except for the evenings and then in the evenings we were very busy – party after party after party. My husband and I were quickly aware that this was going to be a totally different experience than our life at home, and we both decided to just embrace it. We were hanging out in a world of late night owls and we have been flying with the early birds back home. I have not been a late night owl since I was a teenager, so I was a bit rusty. The first night we started the evening at 8:30pm and didn’t end till 4am. The second night we started the evening at 10pm and ended sometime when the sun came up…
Talk about change of lifestyle! How on earth did I do this?
I embraced the moment
I slept in really late and got rest for the evening
I met interesting people
I asked questions
I engaged people
I was sincere and authentic
I learned a few things on this trip – I learned that I love to have fun but I’m not a late night owl all the time by far. I love getting up early and running. In a perfect world, I would get up whenever I felt like it and go for a run. I almost have that right now but still need an alarm. Whatever, it’s not too bad.
Okay enough of all these rambles! Now the moment you’ve been waiting for: the recap of the wonderments of our weekend in the fabulous city of D. C.
Friday – we arrive in the afternoon and were picked up by my cousin George.
He is my cousin and therefore knew we’d want good food, so immediately he whisked us to this amazing restaurant near his home called Mason Social.
We ate fabulous nibbles and met some of his posse there, and were told would be seeing them later.
Then we got to his house where the hubby and I would be staying for the weekend, a cute little townhouse in Alexandria. We met Vega, his gorgeous blue-eyed pit bull, and the sweetest dog ever!!!! I am in love with her #vegathepitfullforever
We took a nap and then got dressed and headed out for Night 1 of Party Weekend. first on the agenda was attending a little party at this club in DC called Manor. George knew everyone there and we had a nice time, we hung out there for a couple of hours and then around 11pm my hubby needed food and we walked over to Gryphon – a great restaurant and bar – and had an amazing meal of fresh seafood. Finally after that we went to my cousin’s favorite little sports bar, Parlay, and hung out there allllllll night. This was not a sports bar that I have ever experienced – this sports bar had a DJ and played old school rap music from the 80’s and 90’s. OMG amazing!!! And the crowd was nice, the décor was stylish and comfortable. It was seriously amazing, I loved it. George has great taste. After the bar closed we headed back to the house and stayed up all night having cocktails and pretended to be kids again. It was quite fun, my husband is truly my hero! He can party like the rest of them and still get up at the crack of dawn. Love this man 🙂
Day 2 of Party Weekend: we got up very late and had basically ‘lunch’ at a little Mexican place down the street. It was really nice to be able to walk somewhere. I took no pics because I was just too tired and lazy, but I had a fish taco. It was OK.
We drove around DC and did a driving tour of the city because it was seriously so freaking hot that I didn’t want to sweat all day. However we did go into the airplane museum because hello, they have a planetarium!!!! It was awesome we watched about the stars and I love the stars. And I love A/C.
After the museum, we drove around some more and then saw the White House. I was quite impressed, the city of D.C. is really beautiful! I love the buildings and the history and the architecture. I said if I could live here, I’d want to live right in the middle of the city where everything is. I’m a city girl… who loves parks and urban running trails. We made a stop to a Starbucks and had some treats, then finally headed back to casa de George to relax and freshen up before round 2 of party like a rockstar.
Night 2 of Party Weekend did not start till 10:30pm, then we headed out to dinner at Old Ebbitt Grill. We had a seriously good meal here and I was so blown away by the food! I had these grilled mahi-mahi skewers and they were best I’ve ever tasted. My husband had crab cakes and George had mini sliders, and they both were very smiley with their food choices. After our meal it was almost midnight and we headed out for the 1st party of the evening – a birthday party for one of George’s friends. It was at this awesome bar in Chinatown called the Post, also part of a nice hotel. I was in love with this bar! So pretty and loved the décor and atmosphere. After this party we had the after party at Parlay, the bar we had been to the night before. Finally, the last party was at George’s house and this one went on all night long. I stayed up talking to a DJ about music and convinced him to teach me how to spin one day… isn’t it funny how you make these epic plans at 4am? We also met this wine merchant who we agreed to go on a road trip to Mexico with, and another couple we agreed to go to Spain with. Talk about a crazy night of fun and shenanigans.
Day 3 Recovery Day – we did nothing on our final day but rest and walk around the neighborhood, and wait for Game of Thrones season finale to come on. We are truly dedicated fans.
And that’s all I’m going to say about my trip now because if I think about Game of Thrones I’ll start getting too worked up and excited to say anything else sensible… don’t get me started. I may need to write another post!!
Hallelujah! I’m finally able to compose a piece about my physical activity lately – you must be THRILLED!!! right whatever.
******warning – inappropriate language used*********** this post has the word fuck it in a few fucking times. i’m sorry but it’s the only word i can use to express my extreme state of happiness and fucking joy. so fuck it. **********
anyhow, i’m just freaking out with happiness over here – anyone in my near vicinity can probably feel the vibrations of my happy fucking soul as it beams out sunshine, sweat, and sparkles. i’m just that HAPPY!!! why?
yes i’ll tell you.
i know the suspense is killing you.
i’m actually able to RUN again. YES!!!!!
i had not been able to run a painless, solid mile since basically last year. i actually can’t even remember because it’s been that fucking long… seriously, not running has been a very tough thing for me since it’s the only thing i love to do mindlessly for fun and fitness. i say mindlessly because that is fucking important – riding a bike is not fucking mindless, yes i like it, but i have to be fucking awake and alert and coherent and shit. it takes a lot of brainpower to ride a fucking bike! and same with using cross training machines… need to be fucking awake and the opposite of mindless. you need to be mindful. otherwise you’ll fall the fuck off and look like an arsehole. i’ve done it so many times and don’t care, but it’s just personally annoying. i like activities where i don’t have to think. my brain does that enough, i like things where i can take a break!
don’t get me wrong, i’m a huge fan of WALKING and other activities, but my soul just yearns for a bit of jogging and ‘running’ around the trails. i’ve never been the best runner and am not that serious about it, but i just happen to love the freedom i feel when i’m out there sweating and feeling those endorphins. i feel so ALIVE when i run… jog, jostle, skoot, whatever. i just feel alive when i move my body fast enough to get my kicker up a notch. i don’t go fast, i just like the movement. and i love to SWEAT. i am not afraid.
before this last couple of weeks, my workouts were just sitting on my spinbike at home and watching a shit ton of movies and cooking shows…. spinning away. i’d do the eliptical as well to mix things up and try desperatly not to miss running and pretend to love moving around awkwardly on the machine. and trying desperatley not to fall off. just that one time… it was quite amazing.
but then i found my new chiropractor… she’s a runner and a sports doc. and she is FUCKING AWESOME. i’m sorry, but i’ve been a billion and a fuck doctors, chiropractors, and healers… for the same shit all the time. none of them told me what she told me, and it was mind blowingly simple.
what was wrong with me?
i had previously heard from the other docs that my soleus was strained quite badly, and all i could do was wait and stretch and roll. it never got better and has been literally a pain in my ass (okay not literally, it’s been a pain in my calf/leg) ever since 2012. that’s a long fucking time… i think i might have actually been depressed about it and didnd’t even know it.
apparently it is very common to get injuries to your calf muscles from running, so i just figured it was a normal thing. my friend suggested that i go see her doc a while back but i ignored it because i figured it would be the same old shit like the other ones – stretch and cross train.
well, during one of our walks one day i was moaning about my leg again – okay not moaning, i’m not a moaner, only to my husband – but i was talking about how long it’s been that i have ran injury free. my darling friend patiently suggested i see her doc, once again, and reminded me that she is a very good runner herself. without hesitation i made an appointment that very day! i seized life by the sriracha, FINALLY.
it’s never too late for healing, thank the Lord.
my first appointment, Dr. Angel (that is what i’m calling her) told me simply that my achilles was tight and so were my glutes. she showed me stretches, told me to do them a few times a day, and sent me on my way… Oh MY GOSH it freaking worked. the stretches she showed me released the tight knot of pain that i thought was soleus, and all of the sudden i started to feel better. i could finally see the light.
hallelujah!!! amen!!! praise sriracha!!!
to walk and jog and run without that pain in my calfe and Achilles is motherfreaking amazing. i can’t tell you how ecstatic i am right now. wait i am telling you, okay whatever i’m freaking happy!!!
before this last month, my weekly workouts for several months were like this:
Monday – ride spin bike for a fucklong time. that’s anything more than 60 minutes… + lots of dog walks around the park
Tuesday – ride spin bike for less than a fucklong time. catch up on Netflix during this… + dog walks
Wednesday – the eliptical machine, otherwise known as bored-as-fuck + dog walks
Thursday – lots of walking, or spin bike, or both, or nothing
Friday – see Wednesday/Thursday
Saturday – long ass spin bike ride to sweat out the toxins from previous night
Sunday – more long ass spinning, lots of toxins
well this little schedule was just really putting me to sleep half the time and not exactly lighting my fitness flames. i burn hard for a good sweat, and i DO really SWEAT on the spin bike, but it’s not my joyful happy place. however i stuck it all out… waiting, waiting, waiting, griping, waiting…..
and now, AT LAST!!!!
i am able to run at least a solid 4 miles non stop. the last few weeks i’ve slowly progressed from a mile run, then stop and stretch, now i’m up to 10 miles, with stretch stops. my most consistent run is about 4 miles solid. i’m freaking thrilled. THRILLED. every day i say “thank you legs!” and i mean it. i’m so grateful…
so last week, for example, here is what happened in my world of workouts:
Sunday – long run of 8.9 miles with walk/stretch breaks every mile
Monday – walked dogs on two epic walks
Tuesday – a little hungover; still took dogs on two epic walks
Wednesday – ran 4 miles straight no stopping, then 2 slow slow miles
Thursday – 5 easy easy miles
Friday – 5 easier miles
Saturday – spin bike for fucklong time again. watching cooking and home improvement shows yay.
before last week i was running about 3 times a week, and stretching every mile at least. baby steps.
needless to say, the fact that just a month ago i could not run one mile without pain and now i can run more than 8 is blowing my mind. no need for speed, just enjoying this moment in life. once i get my base good again, i’ll start adding in strength and the ancillary stuff that runners are supposed to do..
Imagine this: you’re single and suddenly get asked out by the most gorgeous, richest, most charming man. You are THRILLED! Then on your date you discover he farts stinky gas nonstop, wears man spanx to hide his beer ponch, and has a shoe box hoarding problem. And he expects you to be a perfect house wife but also work your butt off. And he’s cheap… fairy tale just squashed, eh?
Have you ever been in a situation that you didn’t mean to get into because you weren’t being authentic, then you found yourself in a web of drama and slime, a real house of lies, and almost engaged, and then you decided to sell your house and bake bread and fry donuts instead? No?
Okay well…. once upon a time I had a donut shop. Actually it started with a kolache shop, which are very popular Polish/Czech pastries here in Texas. Anyhow.
I think I had a quarter-life crisis which resulted me in buying said kolache/donut/taco shop with my ex. Yeah… not exactly what most people do at 27 (and crazy!) But I did.
Needless to mention, it was a very odd time. Prior to the donut debacle, I was having the time of my life! I was young and recovered (again) and seizing life by the melons (since I don’t have balls.) Then I met a gorgeous guy who I was totally gah-gah about, complete with a sexy Scottish accent and all the bells and whistles of Sean Connery. Yep, I met my charming, dashing, dreamy Scotsman. I was delighted. I was living my own Maeve Binchy/Bridgette Jones romance novel, except he was Scottish not Irish but whatever – at last I had arrived. I as no longer sad, pathetic addict; I was happy, fabulous, and dating a sexy Scotsman. Life was getting good.
But then things got serious. We started talking marriage… and that’s when my tummy started to hurt and my head spun. Meeting his family in Scotland confirmed my fears – they were PERFECT and scared the shit out of me. They thought I was PERFECT and that made me a thousand times more terrified. I wanted to barf. I’m not perfect, I’m a rebel!!! I’m a bohemian chic! I don’t really like to fold clothes, I was just PRETENDING!!! Ugh, holy crap, who was I kidding? I didn’t belong there. He actually thought I was a goody-goody. Boy was he dooped! I mean I just didn’t think he would believe my pristine act, but he totally did. I guess I was good at appearing innocent, but I was anything but that.
The pressure of marrying him started to really freak me out; I started fantasizing about getting a tattoo and told him, to see what he’d say. Of course he thought it was ridiculous and then I realized something: if I got (another) tattoo, he would freak out. That is not the husband I wanted! I wanted someone who would be cool with my funky, artsy, quirky side. Up until then he had only seen a polished and sometimes pickled side. I just couldn’t do it, but I didn’t want to say anything.
So I stammered. I fumbled. I looked for distractions. I said instead of getting engaged, why not get a business? Something to invest in? I could run it and if it made money then we’d have a nice nest for when we actually did get married? Right right right? Ha bloody ha.
So I started looking for businesses to buy… I looked at laundry mats, dollar stores, video stores… then stumbled across a kolache shop. It had been established and had a good customer base, and was only open till noon. Yay I love breakfasts, who doesn’t? I went to check it out, looked at the numbers, and by the evening I could actually imagine myself in the kitchen, baking these kolaches and greeting customers! All the while wearing cutesy aprons!!! After all, I went to cooking school once upon another time, and I graduated with a major in business. It seemed lucrative and manageable for 1-2 people… fabulous idea.
On paper it seemed brilliant. The Scotsman loved the idea of me running our bakery and taking care of all his mates, and bringing in the dough – not just making the dough.
Well I thought, GEEZ he actually thinks this is a good idea? I can’t say I was prepared for it to happen so quickly, but when I took him there he loved it. So I put all my savings down, sold my townhouse, moved in with the Scotsman, and learned how to bake and sell bread in a short span of time. It was a true whirlwind of numbers, dough, flour, and madness. Running a business is totally intense, not to mention a bakery. Holy dough balls.
Before I could correctly even pronounce kolache, I was the proud owner and managing partner of a little retail food business in Katy, Texas. Yup, the American Dream in real life. Kolache Shop Queen. Who knew? Not I, not I.
Long story short, the fairy tale didn’t end up with me riding away on a carpet of sausage or cheese and money. The little bakery business ate me. Literally! It totally consumed me. Before I knew it, I had no time for anything but learning how to run this business. It was like having sextuplets, and being a single mom. My relationship quickly dissolved in a very ugly way after we got the business. My personal cracks started to deepen and I just couldn’t pretend anymore. It wasn’t working for me, so we parted ways. But we had a business between us, so that made life really challenging.
To say I was stressed out would be putting it mildly. It would be like calling Sriracha, Ketchup – it’s not, it’s spicy! I was beyond overwhelmed, and I started to use my disordered eating ways to cope again. Which of course made everything worse but I couldn’t stop and recover. I was too busy making and selling food, and surviving.
There were many highs and many lows those first 2 years; honestly it was rather an exciting storybook kind of adventure. I tackled giant ogres, I fought against milkmen, I battled for sausage. It was thrilling! But eventually I needed to get away from my ex, so I found a donut shop down the street. The couple was selling it for cheap, so I got some dough together (not literally) and bought the donut shop. I left my ex’s business began my journey solo, in donut kingdom.
And that’s where the dough hit the fan. Splat.
Yep, donuts were my demise. I just couldn’t handle that business all by myself, and it was not meant to be. So after a long year I put it up for sale. That was the LONGEST year of my life, and after it sold I was traumatized for another year. It took a very long time to pick up the pieces of myself and figure out where I wanted to be.
I knew one thing, I needed a fresh start but more importantly, I needed a job that paid me, and weekends off. Yes, I wanted a normal schedule for a change. No more 2am to 4pm days and nights!!! No more 24/7 schedules running around crazy. No more living out of a car that I didn’t even own. No, I needed stability. Then I’d figure out the rest…
Well here I am today. I’ve had a stable job since 2010 and I’m ready to get back out there and figure out what I really want.
My mind is clear and alert, I’m not afraid to be myself. I am proud of who I am. So this is going to be a pretty rad ride…
The funny thing is that the most harmful thing of all during that donut shop saga was my pride. Yes, my pride of not wanting to fail is what nearly killed me! So my lesson learned is this: who cares about anyone’s opinion. Take care of yourself. Do what makes YOU happy. Be yourself. It’s the best thing to be, really.
Have you ever let pride get in the way? Clearly I have. Many times. Like when I went blonde and it turned purple, and was too proud to just change it. I pretended it was on purpose but it was not. Lesson learned.
Do you know what a kolache is? I like the word kolache. But most people call it ‘pigs in a blanket’
Have you ever done something totally crazy that makes people go, WHAT??? Blink blink
My whole life sounds crazy sometimes so I just don’t even know what’s what anymore. There.
firstly, happy national running day…. did you know that exists? i did not! but i’m happy about it since i can finally (finally!!!) run a bit now. meaning i can basically move my body in a running-like action. hey, fake it till ya make it is my motto. one of them.
there has been a lot going on so i’ll just post pics and add a few deetz cuz that’s how i roll sometimes. when life is a tornado you roll with the wind!
Mama Sriracha is a fabulous woman. Of course I tell you this, she’s my mama.
They say apples don’t fall far from the tree, well that is true. I come from a large tree of addictive-type amazing brilliant people. I have a love of sauce, and my mama has a LOVE of shoes. actually I love BOTH.
but the way I love sauce is the way mama loves SHOES.
Luckily for me, I learned so many brilliant things from my mama, a lot more than just sauce and shoes. I learned how to enjoy life to its fullest.
How to feel fabulous anywhere, anytime.
How to ignore the manual and make up the rules as you go.
How to be fearless.
How to laugh out loud without a care.
How to be humble.
How to ignore what anyone thinks.
How to travel around the world feeling happy and safe.
How to set my standards on HIGH.
How not to settle or put up with bullshit.
How to be patient when things are in transition.
How to be of service even when you have nothing left for yourself.
She also taught me how to appreciate the good things in life… like shoes.
To call her Imelda would be an insult; she is her own person and has established her own level of shoe-ess-ness.
She taught me at a young age that no matter how few pennies you have, it was always possible and necessary to have extraordinary shoes.
She taught me to not settle for crappy shoes.
She taught me that everyone needs at least 1 pair of shoes that makes them feel sparkly.
She taught me how to wax, polish, and buff.
She taught me how to prevent your feet from hurting or getting blisters.
She also taught me that sometimes blisters were worth it if the shoes were that fabulous.
She taught me that you must take care of your good shoes because if you take care of good shoes, they will last.
She taught me that a good pair of shoes are worth getting fixed if the heel breaks;
she introduced me to shoe cobblers, not dessert cobblers.
She taught me that a fabulous pair of shoes can change your entire mood; also a fabulous pair shoes can make an outfit WORK.
She taught me that some shoes are not made to be walked in, they are just made to look marvelous;
these are called ‘valet shoes’ because one must not walk to ones car in valet shoes, one must use a valet.
She also calls valet shoes ‘carry me shoes’ because if there is too much walking, then one must be carried.
She taught me that you can have several perfect black pairs of shoes because each one can be a different style, and each one can be important and perfectly necessary.
She taught me that you must donate shoes that you don’t love and don’t keep shoes that don’t make you feel fabulous; free yourself of them and get the ones that do.
She taught me that everything can be better with the right pair of shoes.
My mother is my greatest inspiration, she taught me so much about life and I feel grateful for her every day. Through her love of shoes she taught me PASSION, LOVE, RESPECT, and total bonkers crazy obsessions can be OK. being passionate about something is a beautiful thing…
and this is how I feel about sauce. I feel like every single food can taste better if it has the right sauce. A gorgeous piece of salmon is ten thousand times even more gorgeous with just a drizzle of lovely buttery sauce or dollop of pesto. A perfect head of hydroponic organic butter lettuce is totally elevated with the right emulsion. Perfectly chilled ice cream is just exquisitely delightful with a spoonful of caramel sauce. I could go on, ya get my point.
As you can see, I’m just like my mother. I’m passionate about things. She is passionate about shoes, I am passionate about sauce. I love shoes also though….. I am just happy that I don’t have to choose between shoes or sauce, that would be seriously devastating. Talk about being in a pickle.