i’ve been on a serious blogging hiatus… as if it wasn’t obvious, durrr-hurrr.
my intention was to return to blogging only AFTER i had come up with my new blog name and changed everything over… but since i finally accepted that it’s not going to happen anytime in the immediate future, i figured that i would just check in and say wha’ts up. updates on life, etc.
hold up, i feel the need to rewind a minute. a while back i was suffering from a blogging personality conundrum. i no longer felt that my blog represented me, but i mentioned i would keep my blog name since i do happen to like sriracha and fitness, blah-blah-blah.
well screw it, i was wrong.
ohhhhh sooooo wrong.
it just isn’t working for me! yes, thanks Dr. Phil. you helped me see the error of my ways.
i just simply can’t identify with my blog’s name any longer, and have felt that way for a long time. my own blog name needs to inspire me, right?
since i started blogging, which was not that long ago, a lot has changed in major ways. i don’t feel the need to write about recovery, that’s not really in my thoughts any longer. i used to spend my days reading recovery blogs, and i don’t do that anymore, either. other things in life have become more important to think about, and i just don’t spend my time wondering about why i do and eat whatever i do and eat any more. honestly, i feel healthy and in tune with my body… most of the time. i’m not perfect, but that was never my goal.
some harsh but lovely truths:
since shifting my focus away from recovery, recovery has actually gotten easier because i just sort of ‘do’ it. i work it, i make it work. i guess i recovered when i decided that there are more important things in life to think about than how badly i might have abused my body all those years and oh gosh what a total addict i was. so what. i don’t spend my days white knuckling life like i thought recovered addicts do – SORRY to my 12 step groups and all my overeater’s anon. peeps. that process and experience was fine for me in the beginning, but i definitely don’t believe my life will fall apart if i don’t attend a group meeting. everyone has a different path to success, i tried many routes. what worked for me was to engage in life and literally, LIVE.
people change, i changed. i knew that i wasn’t born an addict, i was simply born pure and like a blank canvas. like everyone else. we can choose to start over any time in our life, and i made the choice to start a new painting on my canvas. it’s been rather intense, beautiful, and sublime.
on to greener pastures… actually i might have lavender pastures.
eventually when i get around to creating my new blog and figure out my blog identity, i know it will be something that inspires me. i love to feel happy and live in gratitude.
gratitude has kept me feeling strong throughout this pregnancy and this cancer. my cancer is still there, hanging out on my thyroid. it must be a very nice thyroid, i’ll thake it as a compliment. luckily the mass has not grown. for this, i am JOYFUL.
i know that as a blogger you must think about your audience, and before i thought i wanted to reach out to other people struggling with demons or addictions. well, that’s changed so now i need to figure out who my audience is. women? new mom’s? people seeking joy? i’m seeking joy in every moment of life and work at finding the positive, so maybe something about that. i’m convinced that anyone can get through anything, there is always a bright side. i also love going after all the things i always wanted to do, like become spin certified, getting my real estate license, martial arts, cooking school, open and run a bakery, start a blog, own a home, travel on my own, create art, learn to sew, write, do an ironman (or two), run a marathon…. life has no limits, the options are truly endless.
what’s been up?
well, my baby girl is still growing and she’s a very active little monkey. i’m sitting at 25 weeks and feel different every day. i’m in awe of having this little thing move around so much in my belly!
baby name game:
my husband and i have been using this app, Any List, and created a list of baby names that we share. we are down to 16 names from our original list of 65. i call that major progress! we’re not deciding the baby’s name till she arrives though, i just can’t imagine name someone that i haven’t seen in real life before. i imagine we will narrow it down further but just see what she comes out looking like.
i’ve been on a mini web detox, meaning i spend very little time on the internet these days. i’ll read my favorite handful of blogs, check emails and do some work. but that’s pretty much it.
i’ve become a volunteer for the Asia Society, Texas chapter. i’ll talk more about that in the upcoming WIR, but i pretty much love it. it’s such a great organization and they do a variety of great events. i love helping out with things that i love. love. love. love.
i’ve been seriously going after all sorts of crafty things – from collages, to painting, to sewing. i just felt the need to get away from the screen and instead reading about life, start actually living life. what a freakin concept.
house hunting: renter’s choice
this has been my number one focus since the new year. we’ve been all over the place with house hunting. first we thought we ‘d buy, but now with the way the rental market and housing markets are, we decided that renting would be the best way to go. so we have spent the last several weeks figuring out what our living situation should be, meaning apartment? townhome? single family home? highrise? bungalow? WHAT NEIGHBORHOOD???? then i spent several weeks researching options in several different zipcodes. every single week i viewed around 10-20 properties. finally, we narrowed it down and last week we finally made our decision. after house hunting for 2 straight days, hard core, we found 3 places we love. i’ll keep you posted on which one we end up with. very excited…
spin certified and newly employed:
as of a few days ago, i am finally employed at 24 hour fitness as a cycle instructor! i started the process in february, and it has taken quite some time to go through all the training and auditioning. i still have an orientation to attend this weekend, and then i’ll be an official sub. i am not sure i can get my own class before the baby comes, but i certainly hope to be able to sub a class or 10!
well that’s enough updating for now, i’ll save some stuff for the upcoming WIR. sitting in front of a screen for too long is really exhausting, so if you’ll excuse me i have to get up and stretch my legs. and pee.